Unexpected Changes

After a lot of soul searching and inner arguments, I’ve decided to follow my heart… back to the city and the movement I love. I tried to pull away from Tibet in order to find something that could lead to a career, but I know now that I cannot leave Tibet behind. When something is buried so deep inside you, it’s impossible to forget or even ignore it. In the upcoming year, which is so important to the Tibetan and Burmese movements, I have to be with “my first love.”

Only a month ago, I was desperately homesick. After seeing refugees being resettled to third countries and wandering around Buddhist wats and pagodas, I decided that I was going to overcome the longing. And I did. Once I started feeling comfortable again being here in this city, in this job, everything changed again. A friend on a mission visited and pulled me (willingly) back into the world I had left behind. A month ago, I never would have believed that I would be going home so soon!

Yesterday, I went to get my ticket. Because my boss needs to finalize details for the next period, I am making plans for THREE months down the road! This is a record in planning ahead for me!!

However, with the move now official, I'm a little apprehensive about returning to Montreal, sliding back into pretty much the same life I was leading before I left. What will be one whole year abroad has definitely opened my eyes to the world around me and the person I want to be in it. Am I taking a step backwards, or am I returning to the place I am meant to be for now? A friend mentioned a great quote from Nelson Mandela that really resonated with me:

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”

I can’t wait to see friends and family again, and to enjoy living in such an amazing city. But it will definitely be an interesting change.