Starting from scratch again

I’ve been in Bangkok for a little over one week now and have experienced more emotions than I have the sights of the city. This isn’t the first time that I picked up and left my entire life behind, but it is definitely the most drastic and demanding. Every other time I’ve done this, there was always someone I knew in the new place, someone to help me acclimatize and settle in. This time there is no one. I am all alone. The processes lying in front of me now, of creating a new life here and building a social circle, seem daunting at times.

I feel lost sometimes. I have been physically lost, wondering around in circles, trying to find the place where I am staying. I can’t believe how close I can be to something without being able to find it. I am also socially lost; I am a social infant in the world spinning around me. The culture is new to me, the place is new to me, and the language is new to me. Not understanding things is intensely humbling.

I have also experienced intense satisfaction. I have the kind of job that I’ve been dreaming of for years! It may not be glamorous or well paid, but it is emotionally and spiritually rewarding. I am involved in helping people express themselves politically in order to improve their communities and country. This is exactly what I want to be doing.

I have been struck by a calmness here, one that I didn’t expect to find anywhere in Asia, outside of temples. Even walking down a busy road in front of the Grand Palace or shopping at a huge boutique mall, everything still seems to be in serene order. At 5pm, crowds of people wearing yellow shirts are lined up on the major boulevard. All of a sudden the traffic clears, a few policemen walk out into the street. Off in the distance, I see the flashing lights of a motorcade approaching. The police stand in salute and the people mutter small prayers as the King drives by. They laugh at me, the lone white girl, lost in a crowd of Thais. And then they all disperse. I soak it up in wonder.

I know there are more emotions than this to come. There always are. But I have gotten over the first hump and am left encouraged and inspired to keep going in this new life.